Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
