Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
