she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
