Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Even my vagina gasped.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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