New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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