so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize