areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
