Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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