My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
