New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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