i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
They took my balls.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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