My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
