I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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