Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize