I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
