break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
