is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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