i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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