Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
