She said her name was "party"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
