Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
