I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
