She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize