I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
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