Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
