I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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