hell yes lets make some ravioli
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
