just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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