i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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