Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize