All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Go christen that room with your naked body.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
