Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
