oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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