Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
