How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
