Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
