help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
