I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
