YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
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