didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he laminated a picture of his dick.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
