It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
