dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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