And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
