Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The feeling are messing with the penis
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize