The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize