I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
