Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
