these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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