dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
