Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
