You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
