Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
