That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
