She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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