I need to stop coming to work sober
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
