i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
