Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
