you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
