so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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