so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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