Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
