Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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