id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
