You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
