please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize