so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
