Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
