I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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