whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
