I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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