By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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