she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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