Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
