I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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