We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
