I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize