and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
