HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
