You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
